


Every Breath You Take

by AnimeFanime



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga), 킬링 스토킹 | Killing Stalking (Webcomic)
Genre: A different kind of 'death note'..., Basically...all the good stuff, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Gonna kill some people, Hand Jobs, Killing, Killing Stalking AU, Lima Syndrome, M/M, Manipulation, Murder, Obsession, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Physical Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Serial Killer!Light, Sexual Violence, Stalker!L, Stalking, Stockholm Syndrome, Violence, buckle up buttercup, lawlight, there will be blood - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-18 17:24:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10621614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimeFanime/pseuds/AnimeFanime
Summary: L has beenstalkingwatching Light from afar for a long time as they both attend To-Oh.Light is perfect, handsome, intelligent, girls fall at his feet, other boys admire him…And L just wants to…be closer to him.Any way he can.Is that so wrong?Unfortunately for L, when he finally decides to get a closer look at his object ofobsessionaffection, he gets far more than he ever bargained for…





	1. Glance

**Author's Note:**

> Here you go! The Death Note x Killing Stalking crossover that I'm going to pretend everyone wanted...enjoy!!!
> 
> Cheers!  
> AF

L peered out from the shadows of the imposing brick building that housed the law department at To-Oh. He wouldn’t say he was hiding or anything, just being inconspicuous.

 _Yeah, just hanging out, nothing wrong with that._   He told himself as he tucked in tighter against the cool stone, making himself as small as possible while he waited for a glimpse of-

A flash of honeyed locks made their way out of the building amongst a group of students who all gravitated around the figure at their center like he was their own personal sun. L’s hands clenched into fists in frustration.

 _Move, dammit.  I can’t see._   He grumbled internally.  Then, suddenly they parted to reveal the young man he’d been seeking out.  L’s dark gaze widened at the brilliant smile on the young man’s face.

_Light Yagami..._

As his hair caught the sun’s late afternoon rays, hints of auburn practically glowing amidst the golden strands.  His amber gaze was attentively trained upon a dark-haired female at his side as he spoke softly to her amongst the throng, bringing a shy smile to her face that she poorly attempted to hide.  L leaned against the cold bricks, disgust running through him at the very idea of her…

...and him.

 _Ugh, she doesn’t deserve him._   He let out an annoyed huff as his shoulders slumped further and he kicked at the dirt.

When L glanced up once more, his charcoal-hued eyes met Light’s.  The air suddenly seemed too thin as a knowing smirk tugged at the corner of the other student’s mouth before he looked away and continued on with the crowd.  

_He looked at me…_

_It was only for a few seconds, but…_

L retreated deeper into the shadows of the large building, a small smile on his face as his shaking thumb pressed to his lip and his mind began to spin, a plan quickly forming…

_I have to get closer to him…_

_In some way…_

_This just isn’t enough…_

His thoughts drifted to the surveillance equipment that the trustee of his family’s estate had installed around his hovel of an apartment to ‘keep an eye on him’ while he finished his education abroad.  It wouldn’t be too difficult to modify the cameras for his own purposes, blame his own clumsiness for their destruction.

L’s expression turned sour as he considered the man in control of his dead parent’s funds…

_Quillish…_

The old fool would simply have them replaced and by then, L would be able to link up the appropriated cameras to a surveillance monitoring method of his own choosing, with a feed directly to his personal laptop.

 _Now, what is the best way to get the cameras inside Light’s home…_ L gnawed on his thumb absently as he pushed off the wall and started to head to class, mind deeply absorbed in developing a detailed plan.  

He already knew Light’s class schedule, was aware of when he typically went grocery shopping, knew his favorite little produce store where he stopped on the way home every third day to buy apples, had the exact path he took to get to his house from campus saved on his phone…

It was a two-story family home that the young brunet currently inhabited alone, his family having died tragically several years ago in a carbon monoxide gas leak in their sleep.

It had been all over the news.

The only surviving member of the Yagami family, NPA Chief Soichiro Yagami’s son, was fortunate enough to be away at a tennis tournament at the time.

The entire city had mourned and the young man, having just turned 18, inherited everything, which included considerable assets that his mother had brought into the family long ago, including a sizable trust.  The money had languished for years apparently, just gathering interest.  It turns out Soichiro’s pride wouldn’t allow him to rely on his wife’s money, preferring instead to provide for his family himself.

Not that L had spent any time considering all of this as he grew more fascinated with Light…

He certainly hadn’t spent hours investigating the full background of the family, the details of their lives…

Well…

Maybe, just a little.

The raven shot one last glance at the rapidly retreating bodies, easily making out the only one that mattered…

He still remembered the first time he’d seen Light.

It had been on his first day of attending classes.  He’d fallen on a wet patch of marble floor just inside the law building, feet going out from under him as he dropped hard and fast to the ground with a thud.  

“Are you all right?”  A rich, warm voice, full of concern washed over him like a soothing balm to his pain as a gentle hand was placed on his shoulder to steady him, another at his elbow to assist him as he tried to get up. “That was quite a fall.”

“I’m okay,” L murmured, eyes lowered in embarrassment as he heard laughter at his expense from a few people walking by.

_What a loser…_

_Right?_

“Hey, seriously though…are you okay?” The voice pressed when he hadn’t replied.  L’s gaze shifted, unable to help following the footsteps of the dismissive, cruel voices.

“Ignore them, they’re jerks,” L finally lifted his eyes to meet his kind benefactor’s eyes upon hearing his words and was stunned by a pair of amber-hued irises set in the most beautiful face he’d ever seen.

_I must have hit my head…_

_Wow…_

Then, Light  _smiled_  and L knew he was a goner as the other man helped him stand and waved goodbye as he headed off to class.  He felt like he was floating for the rest of the day.

L still remembered the feeling of Light’s hand in his own as he grasped it tightly, pulling him upright.

He still recalled the faintest smell of cologne mixing with coffee and apples as he stumbled forward and Light had to steady him, standing oh so close…

He’d spent more nights than he’d like to admit imagining that scent on a body pressed against his own, those hands in much different places as he used his own fingers to seek satisfaction, wishing they were Light’s.

L shook his head to free himself from such thoughts, knowing he needed to focus if he was going to accomplish his task and have the chance to obtain a front row seat to the real thing whenever he wanted.  The raven’s eyes widened as he considered the very idea of watching the brunet naked…

L’s pace quickened and a smile spread across his face, eager to get through his classes for the day so he could put his plan into motion.


	2. Glare

L shifted nervously from foot to foot from across the street from the two-story family home, gaze scanning the area for any sign of neighbors.  Having watched Light for months now, he knew that the brunet would be in class for another hour and then stop for apples afterwards, giving L plenty of time to set the cameras in place and get out. 

 _It’s now or never..._   He decided as he forced one foot in front of the other until he was finally standing before the door.  L kneeled down, hoping against hope that the Yagami’s were like any stereotypical family and kept a spare key under the mat or potted plant…something…

“Dammit…” The raven-haired young man cursed lowly as he came up empty in both places.  “Where are you?”  He muttered as his sharp eyes took in every inch of the immediate entry for a possible hiding spot.  He was sure there was-

 _Ah…_   L smiled as he noticed a slightly loose brick at the corner of the front patio and reached out to tug it out, breaking into a full grin as he pulled a key from the recess in the wall and shoved the stone in place once more.

“Hey!  You there…”  L stiffened where he kneeled and slowly rose, an expressionless mask on his face as he turned to observe two men in an unmarked but still obvious police car looking at him.

_Shit…shit…shit…shit…_

“Yes?”  L asked politely, taking in the appearance of the 20-something driving the vehicle and the scowling man with the impressively large afro…

“What were you doing? This is-”

“Aizawa…”  The younger man whined, facepalming before shooting the older officer an embarrassed expression.  “You need to relax.  You’re going to give yourself a heart attack before you’re 40!”  The dark-haired driver turned and smiled at L.

“I’m sorry, he just takes his job _really seriously_ -”

“Matsuda!  He could’ve been breaking in to the former Chief’s house!”  Aizawa snapped angrily.  The other officer laughed and looked at L again, who was trying to determine a way to get himself out of this incredibly undesirable position unscathed as he maintained a white knuckled grip on the key and the minutes ticked by until Light would be home.

“How do you know Light?  You weren’t really breaking into the house, were you?”  He jokingly asked L.  The raven-haired student shook his head and forced a smile on his face.

“N-no, I just dropped my key on the ground and was looking for it when you drove up,” L held it up to show them and felt his stomach lurch.  “He’s my…cousin. I’m visiting for a few days.” 

_What if they don’t believe me?  Oh god, they’re going to arrest me.  I just know it…_

“That’s great!  I always worry about Light being all alone here.  It’s nice he has a visitor.”  He glanced over at his fellow officer and grinned.  “See Aizawa, totally reasonable explanation.  You made a big deal out of nothing.”  The other man still eyed him suspiciously but seemed willing to let it go, sinking back into the seat. 

“Well, you have a nice day!”  Matsuda called out as he started to drive away.  L breathed a sigh of relief that lasted only moments before he jolted in realization that he had would need to move even quicker now to get everything done before Light arrived home. 

 _I should still have at least an hour._   He thought as he opened the door and strode inside, closing it quickly behind him.

**xxx**

“Hey Light!” The brunet shot Matsuda a winning smile as the car pulled up alongside him next to the entrance to the grocery store. 

“Hello Detective Matsuda, how are you today?”

“Great!  This is my new partner, Detective Aizawa,” The jovial young officer gestured to his companion who nodded in acknowledgement and eyed the student curiously.

“Nice to meet you!”  Light replied, bending down to give a nod of acknowledgement and peering inside the car.  “Well, I’ve got some shopping to do, but I’ll see you around.  Take care Matsuda.”

“Yes, you should hurry home.  Your cousin was there when we left.”

“My…cousin?” 

**xxx**

_This is so amazing, actually being in here!_   L walked through the home in awe of the glimpse he was being allowed inside Light’s private life.  He quickly assessed that all of the bedrooms must be upstairs and wasted no time in hurrying upward to identify the bedroom of his object of affection.

He had no doubt which one it would likely be, based on the placement of the windows and given that there was only one he’d seen consistently lit up on the evenings when he’d happened to take a walk in the neighborhood.

Sure, the neighborhood happened to be several miles from his own, but it was worth the trip to stand tucked down at the corner near the lamppost and peer up at the amber-eyed male’s window, wondering what he must be up to.  Imagining Light studying…sometimes bringing his own textbook from classes they shared, so he could pretend they were doing it together as he huddled in his jacket for warmth in the dim light.

L opened the bedroom door slowly and just took it all in.  The desk, stacked with classwork and papers.  A large bookshelf set into the wall, packed to the brim.  The full-size bed, perfectly made.  L blushed at the illicit thoughts running through his mind as he quickly took out a pair of latex gloves and put them on before getting out a one of the miniscule cameras to place in a corner of the room, hidden discreetly amongst Light’s many tennis trophies.  It had a perfect birds eye view of _everything_ …

L shuddered in anticipation as he exited the room and headed downstairs, wanting to place at least one or two more cameras around the home.  He wandered into a spare room with a large pull out futon and kneeled upon it, picking up the blanket lying across it with a smile as he took a deep breath of its scent. 

_It smells like him…_

His eyes fluttered closed, sliding down to lie upon the bedding as he let out a low groan and pulled the blanket around himself, blood rushing south as he grew hard, pressing against the seam of his jeans.

“Ngh…Ligh-

_*CLANG*_

The raven was startled from his daydream and sat straight up, looking towards the source of the sound.  His gaze swung to the sliding doors of the closet.

_What the…_

He found his inborn curiosity getting the better of him as he crawled across the small room to slide the doors open and look inside.  He ran his thumb across his bottom lip as he considered the padlocked door in the floor before him amidst the other cluttering items and decided that the benefits of discovering more of Light’s secrets outweighed his nervousness as he quickly turned the key in the lock and flung it open.

He looked down into the darkness and swallowed hard, greeted only by silence and a long staircase into an abyss.

 _Okay, maybe this wasn’t such a great idea- No! I can do this!  I want to know everything about Light._ He assured himself as he carefully made his way down the stairs, trying to adjust to the dimness.  The only illumination came from the trapdoor above and did little to cut through the pitch-black of the basement room as he reached the bottom and slowly walked forward, starting to make out shapes.

_A tool box…_

_A sledgehammer…_

_A foot…_

_What the fuck!_  L fell backwards onto the floor with a shriek as he took in the sight of the bound and naked blonde on the floor before him.  The poor blindfolded young woman simply whimpered and shivered in her black lace panties in response to the noise _.  I have to do something._

“Are you o-okay?” L immediately felt uncharacteristically stupid and answered his own question for her.  “Of course you’re not okay, god, sorry…um…let me help you…”  L reached for the blindfold revealing her terrified eyes. 

 _Why is this woman in Light’s basement?_   He wondered as he pulled off the gag as well.

_I have no idea what’s going on here._

“Please save me!  Save Misa!  Please save me!”  She started to scream as soon as she was able.

“Please try and calm down…” He winced as she let out another piercing cry.  “Just let me untie you-”

“Don’t touch me, you pervert!”  She snapped at him.

“Then how am I supposed to help y-”

“Stay away from Misa!”  Her eyes filled with horror as if she was seeing some kind of monster before her.  L could only imagine she was either high or had been through some sort of trauma…most likely both.

“But, I’m just going to untie you,” He tried to assure her once more as she continued to scream.

“Ahh!”

**_*whoosh…thwack…thud*_ **


	3. Scrutiny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!  
>  _*cackles evilly in writing lair and steeples fingers*_

For such a smart guy, L didn’t even see it coming…but he sure felt it, as a blunt object drove into his shoulder, knocking him to the side with a painful cry as he felt fear spike through his body.

_Wh-what happ-_

“I don’t know who you are…” Light’s smooth voice was laced with danger and deadly serious.  “But I haven’t seen any of my extended family since the funeral.  You might as well have said you were my long-lost brother.” He muttered coldly.  L turned to look upon the man from where he lay on the ground, shoulder in fiery pain as he tried to get his body to obey.

 _This isn’t right…_   The man’s amber gaze was icy, not a hint of his typical warmth as he assessed the other man and strode forward, baseball bat a threatening weight in his grip.

 _Who is this man?  It’s like he’s a completely different person from Light._   He realized as the brunet grabbed the leg of his jeans and began to drag him across the floor by his ankle.  

 _No!_ L’s brain felt like it was coming back online a bit, recovering slightly from the earlier assault.

 _I have to get out of here!_ L determined as he frantically struggled to free himself from the other man’s hold upon him, thrashing about and gaining the leverage to swing his other leg around to strike him in the shin with a solid kick that sent him stumbling away with a low grunt.  

 _Yes!_   The raven got to his feet and hurried for the stairs, scrambling up them towards safety-

And then there was pain again as he was hit once more from behind, breath leaving his body in a gasp as he fell backward, legs knocked out from under him as he was sent tumbling downward.  

_Oh god…_

_Why is this happening…_

L forced his eyes open, using every bit of adrenaline rushing through his veins to keep aware, to try and focus as pain wracked his body.  He watched as Light began advancing upon him and quickly scurried backward.

_I’m going to die…I don’t want to-_

“Mmph…ha!” L cried out as backed into a wall, injured shoulder taking the sudden impact and reverberating through his body.  He slumped against the brick of the basement, cold enough to be felt through his shirt and hoodie as he gazed up with fearful eyes at the man before him.

“I know I shouldn’t be here…”  L spit out rapidly as the brunet looked upon him with indifference and raised the bat up once more.

“Uh, we go to the same school! And…”  L felt desperate, like he was grasping at straws as his usually quick mind struggled to think of what he could say to convince the man before him that he was no threat as Light’s scrutinizing gaze assessed him.  The man he lo-

“Y-you were so nice to me that time and IloveyouandIjustwanted…Ijustwanted…” L’s words came out in a jumbled rush, tears pooling in his large, inky eyes.  “I’m sorry…please believe-”

“Can you stop mumbling? Slow down…I can’t understand you…” The young man sighed in exasperation and kneeled down in front of him, an indecipherable expression on his face as he grasped L’s chin and tipped up his face to examine it closely…

Then, Light  _smiled…_

 _Oh, dear lord…_ L felt his heart leap, just like it had the first day they’d met.  The brunet stood and slung the bat over his shoulder, a hit of a smile still tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Hey, it’s a little crowded down here,” Light gestured toward the sobbing blonde with a tilt of his head.  “Want to come upstairs?”  L nodded rapidly and pushed himself off the ground, still holding his throbbing shoulder as he started to follow him like a beacon out of the dark.

“So you forgive me?  Really?” L murmured as they began to climb the stairs.  As they grew close to the top, Light turned, a broad smile on his face.

“Of course…but not with those dangerous legs of yours.  You know that kick really hurt?”  Light replied as he shoved him hard.

Then L was falling…flying…crashing…darkness…

**xxx**

When L woke he was cold, staring up at the ceiling as he heard footsteps above him and he tried to remember where he was, how he’d gotten there.

_Oh, yes…_

He felt his bare skin rub against the concrete floor and wondered briefly where his clothes had gone but he was grateful to have retained his boxers. L tried to move his arm and took in the clinking sound of a chain.  He looked at the metal encircling his wrist with curiosity.  It was like some sort of modified handcuff…  

He lowered his arm to his side and gazed at his surroundings, eyes going impossibly wider, unable to breathe as he took in the sight of the blonde woman, now staring at him with blank, dead eyes.

“Ahh!  Hngh-hnh…ahhhh!” L yanked at the chains in a panic and tried to get some distance from the vacant stare that greeted him in the woman’s face.  His body shifted and he was suddenly aware of a terrible throbbing pain in one of his legs.

_Shit, shit, sh-_

“I wouldn’t feel too bad for her,” Light muttered as he came down the stairs, tossing an apple absently from hand to hand as he approached.  “She was a very bad woman…a criminal in fact and she needed to be brought to justice…”  He sneered at her naked form, giving it a kick with his foot.

“Such a stupid cunt.  She whined until the end about her innocence…” He observed her one last time with clear disgust on his face.  

“But I knew better,”  The young man’s hair caught the light from the stairs, making the auburn strands woven amongst the brunet glow as he kicked her legs further apart, jostling her unseeing body.

“What a slut…can’t help spreading her legs like a whore even now,” He mumbled, unsympathetic gaze evaluating her like a crime scene picture from one of their classes, voice clinical as his eyes slid to meet L’s wide charcoal-hued irises.

_Who the fuck are you Light Yagami?_

L couldn’t believe the tone of voice he was hearing as he took all of it in.  His body shivered, partly from fear, partly from the cold of the room.  He had always been incredibly slender, maintaining a small amount of lean muscle tone.  He felt it now as the chill seeped through to his bones…

Light ran a hand through his brunet locks and pulled a knife from his pocket as he turned and kneeled before L, who scooted back in terror. Light let out an annoyed huff and held up the apple before him.

“You’re hungry, right?  Jeez…”  L just stared at the other man in confusion as he began to slice the fruit, trying to ignore the dead body next to-

“You know…you’re a criminal too, breaking and entering, but I’m willing to give you a second chance and prove you can be redeemed,” Light murmured as he held a slice of apple between his fingers and reached out to place it before L’s lips.  

_Is he completely insa-_

“Open your mouth,” Light’s voice was hard and cold, bringing him back to reality.  L quickly opened his mouth and the fruit was shoved inside, juice slicked fingers brushing against the raven’s lips.  The amber-eyed male scowled slightly and brushed his thumb against the corner of the lower one.  

“Don’t be wasteful or messy…I hate that, besides, these apples are a 1000 yen each you know,” L’s eyes widened at the expense and nodded in understanding, eager to make the crazy, beautiful man with the apples happy as another piece was quickly shoved in before he was even done chewing the first.

And then Light’s lips were crashing into his own without warning.

_He’s kissing me._

_He’s…_

_Kissing…_

_Me…_

The other man gripped his face as he straddled him, the taste of apples swirling on his tongue, sweet and tart as their lips met and L let out a soft moan.

 _Light…_   His body shifted beneath the brunet’s and the other man broke the kiss abruptly, eyes narrowing as he turned to glance over his shoulder.

“Hmm…I didn’t realize…”  Light sighed and rose, sliding the knife back in his pocket as he strode across the room.  

“You should’ve told me your other leg was okay,” He smiled as he grabbed the sledgehammer.  L’s eyes widened.

 _No…he can’t…_   The raven’s eyes went to his unbroken leg.

“No!  Please! Don’t do this!”  He begged as Light steadied his leg into place and raised the implement.

“This is for your own good…and don’t worry, I’ll make this quick…”  L watched Light in terror as he smiled at him kindly.

“I can be a merciful god after all…”  Light murmured as he brought the hammer down.


	4. Disorientation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one ended up being a long chappie, because I just couldn't find a good place to stop...enjoy!

Pain.

All L knew was pain.

“Ngh….ha…” L groaned, shifting restlessly on the icy floor, and causing his chains to rattle as he attempted to turn over, seeking some small measure of relief from the ache in his body after lying on the frigid concrete for so long.

 _How long has it been anyways?_ In the darkness of Light’s basement, with no way to tell time, the minutes, hours, days seemed to blend into one another…

L shivered, air rushing into his lungs in quick panting breaths as agony shot through him again, fear taking hold as he saw Light’s feet come to stand before him and he curled into himself with a whimper.  He dared a glance upward through his messy hair and saw that the young man appeared to have just come from playing tennis, a bottle of water in his hand as he looked down upon L with annoyance in his expression.  L thought about his broken, useless legs as he took in Light’s long, strong, uninjured athletic ones…

 _Well, I certainly won’t be playing anytime soon._  L felt a near manic smile tug at the corner of his mouth before he quickly swallowed it down.  _Keep it together, dammit!  You can’t let all of this get to you..._  

The brunet kneeled beside him, pressing several pills to his lips, which he obediently allowed Light to pop inside, not wanting a repeat of the first time when he’d asked what they were and had been hit several times for daring to question his captor.  It had only added to the elaborate bruising already upon his body.  L felt like his skin must resemble a patchwork of various shades of reds, purples, and blues at this point, stitched together by cruel hands belonging to an angelic form…

“Drink,” The young man tipped his water bottle towards L’s mouth, carefully pouring some of the cool, crisp water down his throat.

“Are you just about done complaining?” Light murmured, raising an eyebrow questioningly.  “I graciously allow you to live and this is how you repay me?  By filling the air with your incessant _whining_?” Light sighed in frustration and pushed L onto his back, fingers pressing and poking along the bruises curiously, counting the man’s ribs and digging in painfully...

“I suppose I’ll have to find some way to _make_ you interesting…” He muttered absently.

“Light, I-” The brunet slapped him hard, head whipping to the side to smack into the floor and bounce off. 

“Hngh!” L gazed at him with confused eyes, taking in the unforgiving expression on Light’s face, unsure what he’d done…

“Did I say you could speak?”  He hissed, as he pulled out his knife and grasped the chain holding L’s wrists to pull them above his head.  His eyes were dark and narrowed as he considered the form below him before slowly beginning to drag the blade along L’s ribs, setting them on fire as blood trickled from the new wound down to the floor.

“Ahh!  Hah-hnh…stop, please!”  The glow from the light at the stairs shone around the brunet, casting a halo around his head, making him look like some sort of twisted, vengeful god as he smiled and simply drove the knife in deeper.

“This is your penance, L…”  He whispered under his breath, eyes focused on the red that dripped onto the floor.

The raven’s head throbbed, his entire body ached as he gazed up at Light.

He was ugly…and beautiful…and L wanted to throw up at the sight of him.

 _Oh shit._  His eyes widened in realization, barely managing to turn his head to the side before he vomited; bile, water, and the pills he’d just taken spilling out onto the floor, his pinned down arm, and his hair.

The amber-eyed male’s nose wrinkled as he drew back to examine him. 

“Disgusting.  This is why I never wanted a pet, ugh,” Light muttered with a roll of his eyes as he pulled out a pristine white handkerchief and wiped the blade clean before placing it in his pocket and sliding his arms under the other man’s slender knees and back to pick him up.

“Ah!” L couldn’t help crying out again as his broken legs were moved and white-hot pain raced through him.  It was so intense that he must have passed out for a short period of time, as the next thing L knew, he was being set down on cold tile, warm arms releasing him as he tried to hold on to the oblivion of unconsciousness.  The raven felt slightly better from the warmth he had been able to siphon from Light’s proximity, but it was not enough as he let out a whimpering moan and gazed around in a haze of confusion and realized he was sitting inside a shower.  L glanced up at Light.

_What is he-_

“Ha! Ahh!” L shrieked as a spray of tepid water hit him, slowly warming after a few moments, but never truly gaining the kind of heat that the injured young man desired.  He could only sputter and hold his hands up against the onslaught.

“Put your hands down, I need to clean you up,” Light smirked and shoved his hands out of the way, soaking his hair and rinsing away the vomit from his face.  “Okay, let’s get you all scrubbed…jeez, this really is like cleaning a puppy or something, stop squirming!” Light snapped out as he squirted a large dollop of shampoo on his head.

L closed his eyes in fear for another blow as he saw Light’s hands moving towards his head once more, but was relieved when they only began to gently massage the heavenly scented shampoo into his scalp.  It hinted of vanilla mixed with some sort of berry…

_Is this the same thing he uses?  Smells so good…_

“You finish up and I’ll get you something dry and clean to wear,” Light murmured as he rose and swiftly left the room, heading to the laundry room.  He picked up the other man’s clothes and examined them, frowning at their bland appearance…not to mention their unappealing smell.

“No, these won’t work,” He mumbled as he tossed them aside and began to pore through whatever clean clothes he had sitting in the basket from his latest…executions.

“Hmm…” Light examined them all closely, trying to find something that would fit the slim, charcoal-eyed male in his bathroom and finally grabbing a knee length black skirt and a black and white striped crop top.  He shrugged and started back, figuring that at least they were clean and would fit.

L’s eyes darted to meet Light’s as he re-entered the bathroom, still scrubbing his hair dazedly.  The brunet grabbed the detachable shower head and began to spray him down once more.

“Uh…ugh! Pfft…”  L spat out the soap that was trying to make its way into his mouth and brushed it away from his eyes, as all the filth upon his body from his time in the basement went down the drain.  Light set down the shower head and picked him up to sit on the edge, surprising L once more with how strong he was, simply maneuvering the other man how he wanted.

“Let’s get rid of these.  I’ll wash them,” Light tugged at his sodden boxers and L didn’t dare argue, looking away as a blush spread over his cheeks at being so exposed.  Before he could register what was going on, they’d been tossed aside and Light was pulling a shirt over his head.  L looked at it in confusion, trying to yank it downward and realizing that it wasn’t long enough to cover him.

_What the hell?_

“Put your arms on my shoulders,” Light murmured softly in his ear, hot breath making him forget for a brief moment all the things-

“Haaaaah!  Ngh…”  L cried out as he was dragged upward, holding on to Light for dear life and trying not to place any weight on his broken legs as fabric slid against his skin, pulling all the way up until the amber-eyed male zipped it in the back.

 _Wait a second…what am I wearing?_   L thought as he was set on the ground outside the tub and gazed at the length of his body in confusion.  His eyes narrowed in unspoken fury that he knew he could not voice for fear of the repercussions.

“There, don’t you look…uhh…” Light stood and looked down at him, scratching his head briefly as his gaze raked across his captive’s lithe figure. 

“Well, I suppose anything would be an improvement over the hideous outfit you were wearing, right?” He finally concluded with a broad smile. 

“I mean, you do look like some sort of Gothic Lolita meets Harajuku girl gone wrong, but other than that…”  Light’s eyes took in the sight of L’s swollen, throbbing legs and frowned.  “All right, let’s head back-” 

“Light! Please, don’t put me back down there!” L practically sobbed, tugging at his pant leg desperately as he was hit with a wave of nauseating terror. “I’ll do anything, please!”  Light yanked his leg away, a low noise of annoyance.

“Don’t be such a baby,” He replied, picking up L by the waist and slinging him over his shoulder so his upper body was hanging upside down over Light’s back.  He gave L’s rear a hard swat when he tried to wriggle free in a panic.

“Hey!” Light barked out angrily, stopping dead in his tracks in the hallway.  L felt like he couldn’t breathe as he waited for whatever horror was to come next.  But once he quieted, the other man simply began to walk again, taking him back towards the spare bedroom.

 _I don’t know how to convince him not to put me down there._   L worried as they drew closer to the darkness of the basement that lay beneath the door in the floor of the room…

“Okay, now…” Light carefully lowered L to the futon, much to his surprise.  “Stay,” He uttered firmly.  L didn’t move a muscle as the other man rummaged around in the closet for something, returning shortly with a handful of bandages.  Light looked down at him again and caught sight of his own shirt, now stained with L’s blood from the wound on his ribs.

“I’m sorry,” L quickly began to say, hoping to soothe the brunet before he flew into a rage regarding his ruined clothing. “I didn’t mean to make a mess-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Light replied as he tossed the supplies down on the mattress next to the raven and proceeded to peel the soiled shirt off over his head.

Even in his injured state, L couldn’t help having a healthy appreciation for the view he was being afforded as Light’s toned stomach and chest was revealed, his strong arms-

“Ha…” Light snickered in amusement and threw his shirt at L’s blushing face as he took in his expression.  “You really are a sicko aren’t you, L?  Even after everything…”  Light sighed and shook his head as he sat on the bed and pulled the other man’s legs into his lap.

“Oww…”

“Stop being such a baby…” Light murmured as he began to wrap the bandages around L’s injured legs, providing compression and support to them. 

“What do you say when someone does something nice for you, L?”  The man’s amber eyes slid sideways to glare at him expectantly, full of dangerous fire as he waited.

“Oh, uh, thank you!  Thank you…Light,” L replied quickly.  “Thank you…”  Light stood swiftly as he finished up.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” He informed the raven as he exited the room, leaving L alone.

The young captive looked around, eyes widening as he truly realized…

 _I’m alone._   L shuffled a bit and glanced around the corner, looking down what he could see of the hallway.

_I’m…_

_Alone…_

He sat there in confusion, trying to comprehend what was going on…

He pulled himself further along the floor and looked out, trying to determine-

“I expected more of you, L…” Light’s voice suddenly whispered to him from behind.  The warmth of his breath caught on the dampness of his neck to send a shiver down his spine.

“I know you’re not stupid…no one attending To-Oh is,” He continued quietly, voice crisp, an edge to it as L stayed still as a statue, afraid to turn and see the monster that sought to devour him whole.

“You probably could’ve escaped if you’d really put your mind to it…”

“…so, why didn’t you?” Light voice held a mocking lilt as he taunted his captive.

“I don’t know,” L murmured in confusion, head still pounding, body screaming in agony as he let out a low groan and slid to the floor, exhaustion washing over his weakened form. “I don’t know…”

“I’ll tell you why, L,” The brunet replied cheerily as he bounded up from behind the other man and strode down the hallway, pulling his knife out as he turned to face him once more at the foot of the stairs, a knowing smirk on his face.

“Because perverted sinners like you need to repent…and only within these walls can you find salvation...”  Light drove the knife down into the floor, startling the raven as he lifted his gaze to meet L’s.

“Is your faith strong enough, L?  Will you obey me and stay behind this line if I allow you to remain up here?  Never cross it?  Trust in me?”  L nodded slowly with wide eyes, unsure what else to say in the face of such a request from the man before him, who no doubt would use that same blade in his hands to cut him to ribbons if he didn’t agree.

“O-of c-course, Light,” L assured him as he found his voice.  The brunet smiled sweetly and rose, knife in hand once again as he strode forward and kneeled before L, holding the blade firmly at his throat.  The other man held his breath for fear that one wrong move would be the end of him.

“I’m glad to hear it, because if you ever cross it, what I do to you will make the crucifixion look like a trip to the acupuncturist in comparison, got it?”  L nodded in understanding, swallowing hard as he felt the pressure of the knife leave his body.

“Yes…”

“Good boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes...Light has a god complex (is anyone surprised) and it will continue to play out as we move forward...


	5. Clarity

“See, that wasn’t so hard…”  Light murmured, brushing L’s hair back from his eyes gently before his grip turned harsh, tugging insistently.  L eyed the brunet speculatively, trying to figure out the puzzle that lay before him-

“Don’t look at me like that,” Light replied quietly, gaze haunted.  “It reminds me too much of…him.”  Light’s mouth twisted into a wry smile, thumbs brushing along the dark circles beneath L’s eyes.  “He always saw too much as well…”

“But in the end, he couldn’t see what was right…”

“I had to show him…”

L held his breath as Light’s knife inadvertently brushed along the edge of his jaw as he touched him, fighting back a whimper of fear.  The young man let out a heavy sigh as he placed a hand on L’s shoulder, eyes downcast.

“I miss you dad…”

L wasn’t sure what to do.  He hated everything this man had done to him, but to see the despair clouding Light’s expression, bringing with it the promise of a storm much worse than any he had witnessed before, the raven knew only that he wanted the sun to shine again.

“I’m sorry, Light,” The brunet’s gaze snapped up to look at him in surprise, disgust slowly twisting his features as his fingers dug into L’s bony shoulder.  “Ah...hngh…t-that hurts!”

“What makes you think I want your pity?  Fucking idiot…”  Light sneered as he grasped the fabric of L’s shirt tightly and stood, dragging him along the floor.  “Let’s find a good use for you…ah, I know!”

“Ha! Mmph…” L groaned in pain as his legs bumped across the threshold of the kitchen, finding a momentary reprieve as Light finally released him.  It was short lived, as only seconds later he was encircling the bare skin at his waist with his hands and hauling L up into a rolling chair from a nearby table.

“You can make coffee, right?”  Light murmured, gesturing to the elaborate pour-over coffee maker on the counter.  L eyed it with trepidation and glanced at the brunet, who viewed him expectantly.

“I usually drink tea…but I can try?” L replied quietly, hoping that would be enough.  Light just sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I swear, I don’t know what I’m going to do with you…”  The young man yet again pulled out his knife, sending a rush of fear through L once more as Light leaned towards him, then past him slightly.

L breathed in the man’s scent as he watched the brunet’s silken locks fall across his face, obscuring it from view momentarily and sending the faintest hint of vanilla stirring into the air, along with the crisp scent of-

“Here you go,” Light turned his head to smile softly as he held up the apple he’d procured from a bowl on the kitchen counter, pulling out a cutting board to place it before the raven.

_What does he want me to do with it?  Bake a pie?  Mmm…pie…_

His eyes widened as Light grasped his hand, pressing the blade into his grip with a pleased grin.  The brunet brought his other hand up to run his thumb along the fragile skin below his charcoal-hued orbs.

“You’ll see L…in time,” He muttered as he pulled away, leaving L holding the sharp blade as he stared at Light in confusion.  The other man laughed softly at his expression before turning to leave, heading to the other room.

“I’ll expect an afternoon snack ready for me in 15 minutes, L…” He called over his shoulder, gaze meeting the raven’s own, darkness seeping back in around the seams as they narrowed critically.

“Don’t disappoint me.”

L turned back to the countertop and stared at the knife in his hand.  His heart was beating so fast, he thought he was going to have a heart attack.

_He gave me a knife._

_He. Gave. Me. A. Knife._

_What the fuck!?!?_   L’s hand flew to his mouth to keep in the cry that threatened to escape from the madness of the situation, quickly glancing over his shoulder, unable to help feeling like he was always being watched.

He grit his teeth, turning back to the cutting board and closing his eyes tightly shut.  He held the blade in a white-knuckled grip and tried to find his composure.

L let out a slow, calming breath.

_It’s…going to be okay. I…_

_Just have to do what he says and look for a chance to escape_. 

L gazed down upon the knife and tried to imagine driving it into Light’s body-

_No! I couldn’t! I-_

_But if I have to…_

L forced himself to start carefully slicing the apple before him, letting his mind ponder all of the possibilities for obtaining his freedom…all the potential outcomes from any attempts…

_Just be smart…patient…_

_People have been underestimating me my whole life.  Even with my IQ tests and grades, people only see the exterior…they see someone they can manipulate…they see weakness…_ L’s gaze narrowed as the blade sliced down with a satisfying crunch.

_I’m not weak._

**xxx**

L gazed upward from where he was chained in the basement and even that small bit of motion sent a thrum of pain through his body.  He shifted restlessly, but there was no escaping the raw agony, in random patches across his slight form from scalding burns inflicted at Light’s whim…

_No, it’s not-_

_It’s not a whim…_

_I should’ve done better with making the coffee, I should’ve…_ L leaned his head back against the basement wall and he listened to the music filtering down from above.  A song he’s heard countless times…so many times as started to lose track of the number of days and night he’s been here…

_Every breath you take_

_Every move you make_

When Light got home, he always put that song on…

_Every bond you break_

_Every step you take_

Then he would come for L and have him make his coffee, his snack…

_I’ll be watching you_

L sighs softly as he feels the other man’s gaze burning into his back where he sits at the counter, hoping that this was a good day, that he can make it through without a beating for not perfectly slicing the apples or without having the coffee he painstakingly made poured on him because it’s not up to Light’s exacting standards…

It goes on like that…day after day…

After day…

And L waits for his opportunity.  For his chance…

For his chance…

It finally comes…

In the form of the leftover remnants of some poor soul’s life that Light shoved in a closet and promptly forgot about.

“L? I need you to clean up this mess,” Light tosses down his pen on the table where he’s studying, causing the raven to flinch.  “I have an exam tomorrow and I can’t even stand this anymore.  Just knowing this…filth is in my house is disturbing my ability to concentrate.”  L swallows down his frustration, trying not to think about missing his own exams, his own classes, wondering if anyone has noticed he’s even gone… 

Instead, he forces a smile on his face, having quickly figured out long ago that Light won’t slap him around nearly as much if he doesn’t act like he’s so miserable.

The brunet rolls his chair into the laundry room just off the kitchen and places him before a shelving unit full to the brim of random items and boxes collecting dust.

“Of course, Light.”

L keeps his gaze downcast and starts to pick through things as Light shoves a plastic bag at him.

“Just…get rid of anything useless and dirty,” He mutters before quickly striding away.  L hears the soft scrape of the chair at the table and knows he’s alone…

For now.

He patiently wades through it all…

Sunglasses, condoms, tampons, gum…all manner of irrelevant everyday items…

Band-aids, a bottle of sleep aids, a bus schedule- 

L’s eyes widen, hand trying not to shake as he picks up the bottle again to look at it closely, glancing briefly towards the kitchen to make sure he’s still completely alone.

_They’re a liquid capsule…the strength is pretty good, I think?  I could put them in his-_

_No.  I couldn’t._

L quickly and quietly shoves the pills into a corner of the shelving behind some canned food. 

_Could I?  What if it doesn’t work…_

The raven’s shoulders square themselves in determination as he gnaws on his split lip, wincing at the sudden pain, a reminder of a time when Light wasn’t so patient with him.  A reminder of the least that could happen if things went wrong.

_But I have to try._

_I’m going to try._

**xxx**

L is careful.  Oh, so careful as he makes Light’s coffee today.  He wants it to be perfect, wants Light to drink every damn drop of the rich, dark liquid that contains as many pills as he dared to include without altering the delicately balanced flavor, meticulously opening the small capsules into the carafe before starting to brew.  He’s hoping that it’s the most efficient way to ensure the medication mixes completely with the fragrant beverage as he watches it drip down into the container.

“Great! I really need a cup right now,” Light murmurs as he comes in from the spare bedroom.  “Mmm…smells wonderful.  Is it ready?” He peers over L’s shoulder, breath hot against the raven’s ear and sending a shiver down his spine.

“Yes, Light, just about done,” L gives him a sweet smile and holds up the plate of perfectly sliced apples he’s already prepared as well. “These are ready too, just like you like them.”

Light takes the plate with an answering smile that is so brilliant, L feels as if all of his secrets will be exposed beneath its glare.

But Light simply turns and takes the plate to the table, leaving L to release a small sigh of relief as he turns to _carefully_ remove the now full carafe of coffee from the drip as it finishes, slowly wheeling over to where Light is sitting and setting it down before him.  The raven spun the chair around, eager to procure a cup for the brunet, have him take a drink...

_Just need to-_

“L, please, let me…” Light’s hand is firm on his arm, halting his progress as he walks past L toward the cupboard, rummaging around before returning…with two cups. 

“Won’t you please stay and enjoy a cup with me?  I really appreciate the effort you’ve been putting in lately to make this work and show how committed you are.”

L stares at him in silence for several long seconds before replying, trying to steady his voice.

“I wouldn’t want to impose-”

“Of course not,” Light’s eyes darkened around the edges. “I insist.”  L swallows hard and nods.

_I can’t argue.  He’ll get suspicious.  I just have to hope he passes out quickly and pretend to drink mine._

“Thank you, Light,” L croaks out, staring at the cups intently as he begins to pour.  “Here you go.”

L hands him a cup and proceeds to pour his own, taking his time in doing so.  He watches out of the corner of his eye as Light brings the steaming brew to his lips.

_Yes!  He’s going to do it!  He’s going to drink it!  He’s-_

L finishes preparing his own cup and tries not to let the confusion racing through his body register on his face, as Light pauses with the beverage before his mouth and smirks.

“I-is something wrong, Light?”

“Oh…no, of course not, but you did such an excellent job today,” Light sets his cup down, much to L’s dismay.  “I think it’s only right that you take the first sip,” Light smiles politely.

 _Shit.  I’m going to die.  He’s going to figure it out and then he’ll-_   L was sure he’d turned several shades paler, as he thought about Light’s talent with a knife and what he would do to him. 

“I couldn’t possibly-”

“I insist.”

“O-okay…” L sees his own death staring back at him from within the bitter, black depths of his cup as he forces himself to bring it to his mouth, taking a sip-

“Hmph!” The raven’s eyes widen considerably as Light’s fingers tip the cup further, forcing him to drink more, gulping the hot liquid down with a surprised gasp.  As he brings it down once more, setting the half empty cup on the table with shaky hands, the brunet reaches out to brush an errant drop of coffee off L’s lower lip and grins.

“Good, isn’t it?” Light asks, raising one finely arched eyebrow questioningly as he takes a sip of his own.

“Yes…thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think? Let me know in the comments!  
> You can find me on Tumblr here:  
> animefanimefic.tumblr.com  
> #everybreathfic


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